We shall see where I land
If you’ve read some of my recent stories, you may have noticed a trend of getting back into more active ministry involvement.
If you’ve read even farther back, you may know a little bit of why I would be hesitant to do so, even though I’ve not given all the details here on Medium. As I look back in my stories for links to show that, I see I have not shared as much as I thought about that time. Perhaps another time. Here, however, is a link to a story about my first “baby steps” back to God.
Anyway, God has been ever so gently moving me back into, what I would call, a public ministry. Now, I know that all Christians are to be ministers and all Christians have a ministry. I have been privileged, honored and humbled to be in public ministry before for about 20 years. There were some great times and some horrible times. The reward was great and the cost maybe greater. Suffice it to say, I have had no interest in a few years. That part of my life was over. I was on to other things. I had become perfectly content working my normal job, loving my family and going to church on Sundays.
Makes me think of the Yiddish proverb,
Men plan and God laughs.
If you read those first two links above, then you’re mostly caught up with what God has been up to in my life.
A few weeks ago, I was invited to give the devotion during the halftime show at our local Upward Soccer game on a Saturday morning. Upward Soccer is a great program, and my kids were a part of it when they were that age. Apparently, being in front of folks singing on Sundays brought the attention of the organizer of the program and he wanted me to come share.
I had gotten myself used to being in front of folks and singing again. It felt safe. I had a guitar and band to “hide” behind. The one thing that I knew I’d never do again though. The thing I had done for about 20 years. I knew I would never speak publicly again. That would be too much like preaching. And, according to most folks that I used to admire and respect, I am far too disqualified to stand in front of folks and share about God.
That was the word that kept echoing through my brain.
You see, I have been divorced and remarried, and in my very independent fundamental background, that may be the cardinal sin.
Fear struck. Panic. I was literally struck speechless when my wife told me about the invitation. Nearly paralyzed with fear.
But, here’s the thing about fear, God is not the author of it. He doesn’t give us that kind of fear. Fear is a liar and comes from the father of lies himself, our enemy, the devil.
So, after a lot of praying and discussing with a few folks that will still listen to me, I decided to accept the opportunity.
My false humility kicks in here, but to be honest, it felt great!
It felt like home. It felt right. And, as He does, God spoke to me just as much, if not more, as anyone else there.
So, that is yet another step in my journey. An unexpected one to be sure.
When I texted with my pastor about this opportunity, he replied that God is full of surprises.
Little did I know what would come in the weeks following this opportunity. Full of surprises indeed.
I am alluding here to that leap of faith in the title to this story. All of these things have been leaps of faith for me. Even that first day walking through those red doors of the church I now consider home.
This next leap is huge and extremely unexpected.
It feels very much like a God calling to me, and has been confirmed by a few others, but I still don’t know the outcome. I don’t know where I will land. I know it will be right where God wants me. I know that in my head, but there is a great distance from my head to my heart. Fear is a familiar friend during this time of waiting.
So, I ask for your prayers, and hopefully I can fully disclose all that this leap entails in the near future.
Thanks for reading.
Love one another.